Perdóname

Lo encontré, aquel con quien no me canso de hablar,

aquel que me quiere y haría lo que fuese por mi.

Por destino, un click y un porqué no?,

me atreví, me lanzé y nadé.

No sabía para donde iba, pero me negaba a parar, era feliz.

Tu y yo juntos tiene sentido más que cualquier cosa. Tu y yo lejos son circunstancias de la vida. 

La vida no color rosa. Distancia y tiempo me golpean cada vez más. Ponen duda tras duda en mi cabeza. 

Por mi parte una nueva ciudad y gente con nuevas historias que compartir. Uno que otro corazón roto en el camino.

Aquel sigue aquí en mi mano y corazón. Aunque se aproxima el reencuentro. Me siento cada vez más lejos.

Tengo miedo. De que no ser quien creias. De lastimarte. De fallarte. Que me odies y no quieras volverme a ver.

Quiero que sepas que me importas mucho y si alguna vez te hice daño no fue por ti, fui yo.  

No es sencillo de explicar. No quiero poner excusas. Si no te conté fue por no dañarte y perderte tan pronto. Tú vales el sufrimiento, yo no. 

Si te cuento puede que jamas vuelvas a confiar en mi. Si jamas te cuento viviré con un nudo en la garganta.

Perdóname. 

In the end it's Him and I

Not planned, not expected.
Right time, right place.
Not confusing, not uncomfortable.
Just fun.
I forgot my loneliness and just felt happy.

Don´t let me go, take me the long way.
Wish the night was longer, don't let it be tomorrow.

No calls, no texts.

A night to remember and smile every time.
Never to forget, will he...?

Not a traveler

    For my whole I've had this desire and curiosity to go away from home, to learn and experience as much as I can.

   What if I wasn´t like that, what if i didn´t want to go different places. The world had to be another.

    Lets say the world was full of travelers, everyone wants to study outside their country and work all around the world. Maybe meet the love of their life, and settle in country of their desire. Flying would be cheap and people would have so many friends and family around the world, that you would not even need a hotel. This would be normal, everyone's reality. Towns full with foreign families, speaking different languages at home, work or just the shop next door. This world would be so globalize in food, manners, languages, no barriers would exist. IN A WORLD LIKE THIS, I WOULD NOT BE A TRAVELER.

    For me the excitement about going places I've never been before, places I only know by history class, movies or pictures on the Internet; it's taking a chance, an opportunity, making my own way, not what I'm suppoust to be or do. Doing something that is going to change my life. 

    If I grew up traveling since I was born, and then again, and again I would dare to stay. To stay in the place I was born, and learn everything I can about it, cause everyone there doesn't care their heads would always be planning the next trip. Rescue my roots. I could even fall in love with the boy next door, have a family and stay. Staying would be the adventure. 

My heart belongs to my curiosity of the unknown, 

Stand by Plan

Make a plan, not to follow;
but to have a guide, a route to take.
Have an ambition you can hold on to,
something that takes you in the right direction, the one you wanna go.

I´m in stand by,
I´m frozen.
I can´t follow any way to nowhere

Had a plan, step by step.
something I could trust, and felt confident about.
Now there´s no progress and that feeling is lost.

Everyone else is doing something.
getting ahead of the game,
I´m just here, playing pass on every turn,

I know where I wanna go,
I know what to do and how.
For now I´ll just pass, I´m in stand by.

Change

I´m a person that needs constant change.

As simple as changing the way my room looks, or chop my long hair, even dye it (never done it, planing to). Or as big as going to a new country and start from "0".

When I travel I change a little, grow a little. I experience more, learn more.

My lovely parents taught me that it's okay to go away from home. Go far away as much as you can. That I did, and always returned home. That's why, when I stayed in one place for too long, I start to make little changes in the way I live.

Change gives you new perspective.
When you can't solve a problem, change the way you looking at it, and maybe the answer will be right there.

;)

Can't get him out of my head

Once again it's past midnight, I'm really tired, and somehow when I put my head on the pillow my brain decides to wonder about everything.

It's no surprise I have a new crush that I can't stop thinking about. 

Five months have past since I met him, I should be over him already. It started with a simple hello, that got me all crazy about him. After that i didn't see him for a month and thought that I had forgotten about him. 

Then it hits you!! you start seeing him everywhere you go. Tried to act "cool" but he doesn't even notice my existence. And of course all the feelings come back. 

Suddenly I get angry at him and decided that "I don't like him". 

Next week he WAVES at me, like "hey" I smiled and "heeey" back. Every time I saw him I would just wave. 

But the universe loves to play with me. Right when I thought I stopped been shy with him, we stop bumping into each other. 

That got me here, writing out to the Internet my feelings. Only with the hope to get them out of my chest. 

New Experiences

They come once in a while,

whether you look for them, or they found you.

Right when you least expect it.

Then, it only depends on you  to take it or not.

But if you don't you could end up with the thought "what if?"

Don't get me wrong, sometimes we're not ready and that's okay

the time will come.

When a new experience starts,

you don't know what to do, how to feel, what to say

you can only go with the flow, Enjoy it.

Live with no regrets

bad and good decisions makes you YOU

unique

Life will never give you something you can't handle 

Be Brave,  Be Strong, 

Take a leap of faith

Learn and become the better self you're supposed to be.

Vivir lejos de casa

Tengo 2 años de vivir lejos de casa, en otro país, sola, lejos de mi familia. No sabia que esperar, no sabía que iba a suceder.

Me considero una persona familiar, me gusta pasar tiempo con mi familia, ir a paseos o estar todos en un mismo cuarto viendo una película o solo platicando. A pesar de eso no tengo ningún problema viajando a lugares muy lejos por mucho tiempo. Puedo pasar días sin necesitar hablar con ellos. Son mi familia, sé que siempre van a estar ahí.

Ajustarme a mi nueva vida no fue difícil ni tampoco fácil. Vivir sola es muy diferente que vivir en una familia de 6. Almuerzos en familia pasaron a sola en la mesa y luego en almuerzos en la cama viendo netflix. Explorar poco a poco la ciudad, hasta no hace mucho puedo decir oficialmente que no me pierdo. Me tomó mucho tiempo encontrar verdaderos amigos. Nunca me estrese por convivir conmigo misma, claro cada vez que tenia vacaciones volvía a casa o un evento importante también regresaba, pero no tenia esa necesidad intensa de regresar... estoy bien, un 98% de las veces.

Existen días difíciles, días que exploto y me pongo a llorar. Dejar todo para irme a mi hogar donde están mis padres, donde me siento segura. Momentos en que no me importa nada y solo quiero irme porque no soporto estar sola. no tengo con quien hablar, alguien que me abrace. Días que simplemente no me siento feliz con mi vida a pesar de todo lo bueno que me esta pasando.

Así que solo queda llorar, y sacar todas esas emociones del pecho. Esperar que pase la noche, esperar un mejor día porque hoy lloré pero mañana reiré. Está bien sentirse mal, está bien querer volver a casa con la familia, es el lugar donde nos sentimos amados sin importar que.

Respiro profundo, cierro los ojos y cuento hasta 10...

Of course He's not texting back

This weekend I made out with a guy that I really really like.

I actually met him the same day, but still I really really like this guy.

I don't really make out with every guy I meet. So maybe that's why it felt so good, I couldn't leave him, it was just him and I. dancing, kissing...

Got his number, but he just replay once, but I still hope he does.
I'm not writing again, don't wanna look desperate.

He's a guy, they don't care, they don't wanna talk  to you. They just want to make out with you and then tell their friends feeling like champs.

Love hasn't knock my door in a long time (years), that's why I get so excited. My heart just wants to pop out!
Be realistic, you'll never see him again, in a week I'll be over him....
Hope he writes back <3

Empty and Full

I have this feeling on my chest,

can't explained well,

my heart is going to explode,

I can't get it out.

It's driving me crazy

It comes to me at night,

alone in bed.

Something is missing,

I don't know what

I do,

someone

All this love in my heart,

and no one to share it with. 

I need to cry,

a tear drop with a love reflection on my face.

I need to Feel.

 I'm empty and full of love at the same time.

Can't feel it,

can't show it,

can't handle it anymore

Future Husband

02/02/2015

Hi you,

How was the wedding? How was when we met? Did you though we were ever going to be husband and wife?

I think you will be a funny guy, you always makes me laugh. I think you will be smart and adventurous and we will travel everywhere -hopefully /:

I think you will be a family guy. I hope we have a big family -and dogs!- I hope we are close with your family and mine.

I hope you love my food, I mean you do love my food. I'm a chef, remember?

This is weird, but I hope we can have good discussion. Those that make the relationship grow.

I love when you hug me and don't let me go; I love when you kiss my head. I love that sometimes I can't get mad at you. I love the little things you do for me. I know that we are our own best selves with each other. Cause when I'm with you I'm me and nobody else.

You have no idea how happy you make me. I'm the happiest person, cause I have you.

I hope you love me, even when you hate me; cause I will.  I know everything it's not going to be wonderful but that's how life is.

Please don't laugh at me if you ever read this, I'll be probably hiding in the bathroom.

-Your 19 years old wife. 

It all started with a movie topic.

Movies are great, they're awesome, they take you to places you never imagine. It's kind of like a book, but shorter. I'm not gonna discuss what's better, it is up to you. Personally I'm a crappy reader, I never end a book but I love stories and learning new things.

BACK TO THE MOVIES. They're are many types of movies and every one of them it's good in its own way. Conclution A good movie it's a good movie, or great or awesome. 

Lately I've been watching too many romantic, drama movies that make me cry. I really get into the movies, I'll be that one friend that jumps, screams or even feel more than the actual character. 

This got me thinking, Why do I/we (who ever share this feeling) love movies that we know (cause we know) are going to make us cry? 

Emotions, that's it.

W put ourselfs into the character position and we can feel and even think like her/him/it, sometimes that movie has nothing to do with our life. The movie can be about a dog and I have a fish, the movie will remind me of my fish and how much I love my sister that I don't have. You get the point.

Within love comes pain, and "it demands to be felt". Maybe that's why we watch this painful yet full of love and happiness movies. To feel something. Sometime we need something to remind us to feel. Cause that's what we do as humans we FEEL. 

Good Night.

Smile :)

ps. I'm a crappy writer too.

Love.... WHY?

The one thing that make us crazy and act without thinking.

WHY???

So as humans we have the need to love and love others, cause that's what we do since always. There are many types of Love, we have family Love, friendship and let's not forget about the romantic Love. The kind of Love that makes that person so special and important, the one that makes us smile and we always going to get exited to see him/her.

"Where there is Love, there's life"- Gandhi              Why?

Could love be what makes life have sense? Are we supposed to seek for it?, or is it always been there? are we too blind? but we don't know when, where or how are we supposed to found it? or we just wait?

People say that when you stop trying too hard and let things be, they will happened. Is it wrong that I try not to try too hard??

I'm sure of something Love is confusing but then it will be clear as water.

Things start with a crush " a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special" says Urban Dictionary. I hate this. It could happened with someone you  don't even know, someone you see every day but you never have the guts to talk to, too shy for that, and you are left with the "what if?" -.-  your mind stars to over think too many stuff and you get really exited but don't want to be led down.

Or you talk to him/her or he/she talks to you (better that way) and the crush could be reciprocal best case scenarios; worst case, it's not reciprocal and you get over it really quick. at the end it was just a crush.

A crush can just last 4 months, if more it means more than just a crush...

I get crushes All The Time, I don't know what to do. Every attractive guy I see, and when I see the same one more than once I get really exited. 

That's where I'm going to leave this topic. First it's what I'm going through and second this blog got a little too long.

Remember to Smile :) 

First Post

Hi, so as you can see this is my very first blog. It's midnight and I couldn't stop thinking about starting a blog.

Basically hello my name is Fernanda there is where the nanda comes from, I'm 18 years old and I'm at university. I study Gastronomy so that's why I'll try t keep a my life experience/ food/new intresting things I learn.

So yes Welcome...!!

 Ps. I tried to post a picture but I didn't know how