Change

I´m a person that needs constant change.

As simple as changing the way my room looks, or chop my long hair, even dye it (never done it, planing to). Or as big as going to a new country and start from "0".

When I travel I change a little, grow a little. I experience more, learn more.

My lovely parents taught me that it's okay to go away from home. Go far away as much as you can. That I did, and always returned home. That's why, when I stayed in one place for too long, I start to make little changes in the way I live.

Change gives you new perspective.
When you can't solve a problem, change the way you looking at it, and maybe the answer will be right there.

;)

Can't get him out of my head

Once again it's past midnight, I'm really tired, and somehow when I put my head on the pillow my brain decides to wonder about everything.

It's no surprise I have a new crush that I can't stop thinking about. 

Five months have past since I met him, I should be over him already. It started with a simple hello, that got me all crazy about him. After that i didn't see him for a month and thought that I had forgotten about him. 

Then it hits you!! you start seeing him everywhere you go. Tried to act "cool" but he doesn't even notice my existence. And of course all the feelings come back. 

Suddenly I get angry at him and decided that "I don't like him". 

Next week he WAVES at me, like "hey" I smiled and "heeey" back. Every time I saw him I would just wave. 

But the universe loves to play with me. Right when I thought I stopped been shy with him, we stop bumping into each other. 

That got me here, writing out to the Internet my feelings. Only with the hope to get them out of my chest. 

New Experiences

They come once in a while,

whether you look for them, or they found you.

Right when you least expect it.

Then, it only depends on you  to take it or not.

But if you don't you could end up with the thought "what if?"

Don't get me wrong, sometimes we're not ready and that's okay

the time will come.

When a new experience starts,

you don't know what to do, how to feel, what to say

you can only go with the flow, Enjoy it.

Live with no regrets

bad and good decisions makes you YOU

unique

Life will never give you something you can't handle 

Be Brave,  Be Strong, 

Take a leap of faith

Learn and become the better self you're supposed to be.

Vivir lejos de casa

Tengo 2 años de vivir lejos de casa, en otro país, sola, lejos de mi familia. No sabia que esperar, no sabía que iba a suceder.

Me considero una persona familiar, me gusta pasar tiempo con mi familia, ir a paseos o estar todos en un mismo cuarto viendo una película o solo platicando. A pesar de eso no tengo ningún problema viajando a lugares muy lejos por mucho tiempo. Puedo pasar días sin necesitar hablar con ellos. Son mi familia, sé que siempre van a estar ahí.

Ajustarme a mi nueva vida no fue difícil ni tampoco fácil. Vivir sola es muy diferente que vivir en una familia de 6. Almuerzos en familia pasaron a sola en la mesa y luego en almuerzos en la cama viendo netflix. Explorar poco a poco la ciudad, hasta no hace mucho puedo decir oficialmente que no me pierdo. Me tomó mucho tiempo encontrar verdaderos amigos. Nunca me estrese por convivir conmigo misma, claro cada vez que tenia vacaciones volvía a casa o un evento importante también regresaba, pero no tenia esa necesidad intensa de regresar... estoy bien, un 98% de las veces.

Existen días difíciles, días que exploto y me pongo a llorar. Dejar todo para irme a mi hogar donde están mis padres, donde me siento segura. Momentos en que no me importa nada y solo quiero irme porque no soporto estar sola. no tengo con quien hablar, alguien que me abrace. Días que simplemente no me siento feliz con mi vida a pesar de todo lo bueno que me esta pasando.

Así que solo queda llorar, y sacar todas esas emociones del pecho. Esperar que pase la noche, esperar un mejor día porque hoy lloré pero mañana reiré. Está bien sentirse mal, está bien querer volver a casa con la familia, es el lugar donde nos sentimos amados sin importar que.

Respiro profundo, cierro los ojos y cuento hasta 10...

Of course He's not texting back

This weekend I made out with a guy that I really really like.

I actually met him the same day, but still I really really like this guy.

I don't really make out with every guy I meet. So maybe that's why it felt so good, I couldn't leave him, it was just him and I. dancing, kissing...

Got his number, but he just replay once, but I still hope he does.
I'm not writing again, don't wanna look desperate.

He's a guy, they don't care, they don't wanna talk  to you. They just want to make out with you and then tell their friends feeling like champs.

Love hasn't knock my door in a long time (years), that's why I get so excited. My heart just wants to pop out!
Be realistic, you'll never see him again, in a week I'll be over him....
Hope he writes back <3

Empty and Full

I have this feeling on my chest,

can't explained well,

my heart is going to explode,

I can't get it out.

It's driving me crazy

It comes to me at night,

alone in bed.

Something is missing,

I don't know what

I do,

someone

All this love in my heart,

and no one to share it with. 

I need to cry,

a tear drop with a love reflection on my face.

I need to Feel.

 I'm empty and full of love at the same time.

Can't feel it,

can't show it,

can't handle it anymore

Future Husband

02/02/2015

Hi you,

How was the wedding? How was when we met? Did you though we were ever going to be husband and wife?

I think you will be a funny guy, you always makes me laugh. I think you will be smart and adventurous and we will travel everywhere -hopefully /:

I think you will be a family guy. I hope we have a big family -and dogs!- I hope we are close with your family and mine.

I hope you love my food, I mean you do love my food. I'm a chef, remember?

This is weird, but I hope we can have good discussion. Those that make the relationship grow.

I love when you hug me and don't let me go; I love when you kiss my head. I love that sometimes I can't get mad at you. I love the little things you do for me. I know that we are our own best selves with each other. Cause when I'm with you I'm me and nobody else.

You have no idea how happy you make me. I'm the happiest person, cause I have you.

I hope you love me, even when you hate me; cause I will.  I know everything it's not going to be wonderful but that's how life is.

Please don't laugh at me if you ever read this, I'll be probably hiding in the bathroom.

-Your 19 years old wife.